I had a wonderful time on a nice Sunday afternoon with a new friend. She is like me, a mom, we are close in age, wide range of jobs, and we both have a wicked sense of humor. Thinking about it now, she warned me when we sat down for coffee that she “cusses like a sailor”. Yeah, not. Not even close.
We had coffee, ran an errand, and talked through it all. We shared ideas, perspectives, asked questions, gave compliments. We talked about family, pets, travel, work. We laughed, got annoyed with the topic we were discussing, and genuinely enjoyed the time together.
Later as we thanked each other for the time we had together, she said to me something I can’t remember anyone specifically saying to me.
“I feel seen. And I see you.”
Can you think of a day in your life where you didn’t want to be seen, heard, accepted, valued? Most people probably would say “no”. Those who have lived with depression, self-hatred, emotional or physical abuse, most certainly understand not wanting to be seen.
“I feel seen”. What a powerful statement. It says “you listened to me; you engaged with me; you valued what I said and we engaged on those things”. I could likely list more. But it is an amazing feeling.
Hearing her (in text) say she felt seen was an amazing gift. Then she told me “I see you”. Oh.
Wait a minute.
She valued me. She valued my ideas, my stories. Who.I.Am.
Again. A gift.
Today’s society values the materialistic. We exchange material gifts. I don’t see anything wrong with that per se, but when the value of the gift is in the eyes of the giver, “look at what I gave you”, instead of the eyes of the recipient, the meaning is lost.
The most powerful and meaningful gift you can give anyone? Yourself. Your time. Your attention. Your focus, energy, kindness. Love.
To my amazing new friend: you are seen.
Next time, coffee is on me.
